Hormones and Chromosomes.

Some Sundays are for cleaning, some are for studying, some are for writing, and some are just for lying in bed and doing nothing. Apparently, this Sunday was for everything. I woke up late, brunched on bread and cheese (for lack of eggs), took out my diary in an attempt to write, noticed some clutter in my wardrobe, cleaned and organized the mess. And when all of this was done, I sat down to study. Just when I was about to open my book, I remembered that I had forgotten to write in my diary, which was, in fact, the original plan. All good ideas come to you minutes before you commence reading a textbook, this one did too. And to satiate the itch in my brain, I had to open my diary and put ink to paper.  

So the thought that had caused the itch in my brain was, do people think of women as just hormones and chromosomes? Is it just me or is that really how the society sees us? No no, I do have a justification for why I think so. Here’s their idea of an ideal woman, right from childhood, all the way to late adulthood.

• Little girls are delicate and timid.
• Teenage girls are shy, and apparently hide behind their mother’s pallus whilst simultaneously learning how to cook and clean.
• Young adult girls are riddled with the need to get married and put the behind-the-pallu cooking and cleaning lessons to good use.
• Middle aged women are all about caring for their husbands, catering to their every not-so-self-sufficient needs, and overdosing on Maa ki mamta
• And when women grow old and senile, they pass on their legacy to their bahus and ensure that they are subjected to the khaandaani sexism, and make the same mistakes their young selves did.

So the gist of their entire lives is just this, ‘You are a woman. Behave accordingly.’ (Always in bold, underlined letters). Conservatively speaking then, if you round up their entire lives into two things, it’s just emotions, and roles that they have to play in each stage of their life. ‘The world’s a stage and each must play their part’, said Shakespeare. But apparently, it was strongly applicable only to women.

Also, why these generalised ideas for women? They say we all feel deeply and are too emotional. I know a lot of women who are not, and a lot of men who are. And primarily, what is so wrong about that? Why is being emotional considered a liability? You can pretend all you want that you have a tough shell that’s hard to crack, but here’s the thing, shells are supposed to be come out of. Try it sometimes. And any time we react strongly to anything, apparently we are on our period. I agree that PMS is real, I go through it often. But have you thought of the possibility that the world just gives us enough reasons to react strongly to things? We don’t have to bleed just to notice things that are wrong and call them out. So the next time a girl seems upset/angry/overwhelmed, don’t ask her if she’s on her period, perhaps try asking her what is wrong? Because I’m certain she has several answers to that question. And if she indeed is on her period, you can offer her some chocolate. Periods are like dementors, chocolate always helps.

And what is this thing about women being khuli tijoris? I agree we are tijoris, if being a tijori means we are of great value. However, I hardly think that is the context they use it in. Stop referring to us as something that comes with a lock and key, because keys can be duplicated, and locks can be broken, and there are a couple other things that can be broken if you use that anecdote again. Also, we have had a history of being locked under nonsensical customs and traditions for a really long time, and we may get triggered and lecture you on patriarchy if you make such references. Actually, you know what? People SHOULD be lectured on patriarchy as and when an opportunity arises, I wouldn’t feel too bad about that. After all, it is the need of the hour. You know what else is the need of the hour? Saving our planet from doom. It may not seem relevant in this dialogue, but it is relevant in every dialogue. SAVE THE PLANET!

So yes, my conclusion to all this is, we are not merely hormones and chromosomes, we are so much more, and so much beyond that. You would have known if you would have tried to listen and understand us before making juvenile statements like ‘wOmEN aRe So cOmpLicaTed bRoOoOoo’. We are not. We just want to be treated right. So just shut up, acknowledge, recognise, address, and try to fix the problem no little bit?